Look, I’ve always been honest with my fans, always.
And the truth is, while I will always encourage anybody that wants to do the sport wholeheartedly, the truth is, most people aren’t in this sport for the right reasons.
Here’s why bodybuilding is a waste of time, for most people.
Most people that want to get into bodybuilding are in it for the wrong reasons. Most people want to get girls, have people awe at their bodies, and gain respect from others due to their new size. But, bodybuilding truthfully takes years before any results show, and most of these internal flaws just simply cannot be fixed in the weight room.
Most people will just give up after a few months and realize their imperfections are from within- not from without.
If you want to do this sport to compete, grow your body for your own satisfaction, or want to do it as a fun activity to fill up your spare time- you may ACTUALLY be doing it for the right reasons.
But, if you want to do it to get women or get respect- you’ll learn the hard way this isn’t the way to do it.
Let’s talk about this a bit.
You Won’t Get Girls Because You’re a Bodybuilder
Yep, that’s the hard truth.
Take it from me. I started lifting to get girls too. In fact, I got rejected by a girl in 9th grade and I thought that if I started putting on a ton of muscle she would take me back.
(fast forward 4 years later she still isn’t into me)
I learned the hard way, you don’t get women because of your physical appearance really.
Okay, don’t get me wrong. Looks play a role. But the truth is, if you just shave, shower, dress like you have at least 3 brain cells, get a haircut regularly, and put hair gel in- your looks are already covered for the most part.
Most people that are “ugly” are the people that don’t smell good, don’t regularly maintain their hygiene, or dress awfully every day. That’s the simple hard truth.
- Read: Azzaro – Wanted By Night Review, Best Men’s Cologne for Getting Women
Putting a ton of muscle on won’t fix this. Trust me, I had a friend that did this actually…
He got HUGE, in fact, he was squatting 500 lbs. But, he barely showered, didn’t have a hairstyle, dressed awfully- he was gross and disgusting. He smelled AWFUL. He didn’t get any women even after he was bodybuilding for years.
YET, the moment he started taking his hygiene seriously and started doing his hair- no joke, dude got hired in the professional adult industry- and you might’ve seen him in a few videos online. And on top of that women around the city were lining up for him.
Sure, his muscle helped- but until he fixed his hygiene nothing changed for him.
Chances Are- It’s Your Personality, NOT Looks
I’m going to give you guys the truth.
If you think women aren’t talking to you because you don’t have enough muscle, that right there is an indicator you are approaching women with the wrong mindset.
Women like confident men. If you’re already out here thinking you’re not enough and you need to lift, there’s already a huge confidence flaw in you.
And if you’re at a point where you seriously think that the ONLY reason you are single right now is because you lack muscle, you have a serious flaw in your entire personality.
There is NO WAY, that every woman is sitting there going, “Wow, I’d date him, marry him, and give him everything for the rest of my life…but he just doesn’t have enough muscle. What a shame”.
Dude, wake up. Here’s a life lesson from Vekhayn, I’m trying to say this in the nicest way possible, but something is off with you.
Truthfully, you need to understand that not all women want you. And you’ll eventually find the right one.
But you probably need to make some changes on yourself. Do you smile at people? Are you good at holding conversations? Are you interested in people’s lives? Do you have hobbies? Are you interesting?
And let’s say you ignore me- now we run into another problem: you won’t turn into the beast overnight, nor even in years.
Bodybuilding Takes YEARS Before You See ANY Results
Here’s a bigger problem.
Most people are in this for the wrong reasons- right? Well, most people think that if they go to the gym for a few months, they will look shredded and be noticeably bigger.
WRONG. I’m telling you the truth guys, it takes years before you really see any results.
I covered all of this in my, How Long Does It Take To Be a Bodybuilder Post, but to put it simply:
It may take even a full year of consistent lifting 3-5 days a week in the gym for hours a day before ANYONE even notices some of your muscle growth.
That’s why you rarely see people that have a decent amount of muscle, it really is difficult to put on size.
And that’s the whole issue.
People come into the gym thinking they can do a quick few weeks of hitting the weights then suddenly everybody will respect them and they will have women flocking to them. It doesn’t work like that.
Then, after a few weeks- they quit and are discouraged. That’s why for most people bodybuilding is just a waste of time.
Unless you can sit down and give yourself years to do this sport, it just won’t happen.
I know of people that work 8 hours a day, go to college, and raise their kids, and still fit in the gym every day. Those are the people that take this sport seriously, those are the guys that will be in a bodybuilding documentary one day.
But, on the other hand, most of these high school kids that are just trying to get Stacy from the cheerleading team to be their bride won’t even give this sport a second thought.
They get super hyped for it the first few weeks, then a few months later they look virtually the same (with some muscle growth, albeit) and throw the towel in.
If you cannot promise to make that gym happen multiple times a week for a few hours a day- this sport is just a waste of time for you.
And I don’t want to hear the excuse of, “I don’t have time for it”. I see so many people that work 60 hour weeks with kids still get time in for the gym. At the end of the day, it really is up to discipline.
It Won’t Make People Respect You
It’s always been that famous saying, you know. You can’t just put anybody in Knight’s Armor and expect them to be a knight.
It’s the same thing here. You can’t just transform yourself into a famous bodybuilder’s body and suddenly be all macho and get respect from others.
Respect is gained from within, it takes a true mental state to gain respect, confidence, and intimidation.
Guys, there are so many gang members out there that genuinely weigh like 98 pounds that would beat you to a pulp even if you are the size of Rich Piana.
Your body doesn’t automatically generate confidence and intimidation every pound of muscle you have. It comes from your own boldness in your head.
Sure, more muscle can help you feel more confident, but at the end of the day, when that person charges at you to try and fight or threatens you- do you really think your muscle will change your response?
You can ask anyone that has gotten big from the gym. It’s not the actual muscle that gives them confidence. It’s the fact that they set a long-term goal, worked their behind off for it, and know that they can complete it. They trust themselves and are confident in themselves to succeed.
The muscle isn’t what gives them confidence, it’s the journey.
When Is Bodybuilding NOT a Waste of Time?
You may be sitting there screaming, Tommy! I’m not ANY of that!
Bodybuilding isn’t always a waste of time. But, you need to be in it for the right reasons.
Yes, if you do become a bodybuilder for the right reasons, you will gain a physique that helps you get women or men, you will gain more confidence, you will gain more respect.
But, when you do it for the wrong reasons- it’s like building a house without a foundation. Eventually, it will all collapse.
Bodybuilding is NOT a waste of time when:
- You want to do it to ACTUALLY compete in real bodybuilding competitions.
- You want to do it to grow your body for your own validation- not other people’s validation. You like building yourself.
- You aren’t trying to impress anyone.
- You want a good place to relief some mental health issues.
- You promise to make time for the gym, every week- no matter what.
- You can set long term goals.
- You know it will take years before you see real results.
- You want to do it to genuinely get stronger.
When you do it for the right reasons, you’ll be in it for the long haul and you’ll get the incredible benefits that bodybuilding gives.
Make sure your heart is right. I started it for the wrong reasons, and learned the hard way.
A funny joke in bodybuilding goes along the lines of, “I started lifting to impress women. Now all I ever do is impress men”.
It’s literally highlighting how when you take the sport seriously, you don’t even care what women think of your body. You only care about what the other lifters in your gym think about your work ethic and performance.
So, if you’re in the sport to get women or get respect- just look somewhere else. It’s not going to happen.
But, if you do it for the right reasons, say you want to do it for your mental health or you want to get stronger, not only will you impress men/women and gain respect, but you’ll build yourself up.
For most people that are just trying to get into the sport to get back at their ex, bodybuilding is a waste of time.
If your heart is in the right direction, however- you may possibly find yourself in the gym for the rest of your life.
The truth is: the gym cannot fix the flaws inside of you. It takes yourself to figure that out. Most people want the gym for the wrong reasons.